Today I had a "critical incident" at work. I mentioned to my colleague that I sit next to about having to do an exhibition about my research as I realised that I really had to start thinking about booking a venue and organising my actual display/materials etc. She was really enthusiastic and said that would be "cool". I was surprised by her reaction and explained why I felt that it was absolutely the opposite of "cool" and that I felt it would be perceived the wrong way as the focus of my research is the development of my job role and I really wasn't excited about doing it, more nervous and looking for the most low-key way of getting through it.

What she said then that really made me think was; what if I had to help her to do an exhibition about her job role? I would be really positive and supportive and have loads of good ideas about seeing it as a celebratory event and planning it as a celebratory thing. She said that the problem was that I was being too emotional about it and seeing all the negatives and looking for the easiest way to get through it as I didn't want to draw attention to myself.

When I thought about it she was absolutely right. Because it is me and my work I was looking for the least risky and public way out as, although I am pleased with and proud of the work I have done, it feels a bit show-offy to hold an exhibition about it all. If it was her I would have been really excited for her and had some really excellent ideas about what she could do and supportive of a big exhibition.

So spurred on by her support I have chosen a day that my team can attend (3rd March), booked a venue, sent the invites (4 already accepted!) and organised the use of some display boards if I choose to have some displayed information, which I wasn't going to do, but now I just might!

Tomorrow I am going to go through my research with her so far to give her a mini-overview of what I need to exhibit and see what she thinks about it all; hopefully her enthusiasm will motivate me to take a more positive approach to planning the exhibition.

I am still terrified about the whole thing, but at least I know there will be one supportive face in the audience (and she actually clearly understands what I mean about critical feedback and sees the importance of it, so that is also something positive to count on). Sometimes an outside perspective is just the kick up the backside we need.

I have just read through all of my recent blog entries and realised (again!) that I have a real problem with concisely recording things, I go off on really long descriptions. Short and sweet observations and thoughts are just something I cannot do!

I need to make sure that I work hard on concise descriptions when trying to describe 6 months of research in my exhibition!

After surviving the 2 close deadlines and getting marks that I was really really pleased with and some really useful targeted feedback I am feeling quite positive about the next module. Although I am really nervous about the exhibition module I feel that through reading the discussions, the hotseat and the module guidance I am relatively clear on what I am meant to be doing.

I have a real concern about how to pitch my exhibition. Because the research focus is developing my job role I am worried that it will come across as a self glorification exercise, so I need to work out how to meet the objectives of the exhibition and make it clear through the styling of the exhibition that the purpose is to show what I have learned, and I think for me that means clearly showing the organisational benefit from my research. I also know that a large space with display boards just isn't going to be possible in my workplace over the next couple of months so I need to be innovative in working out how to demonstrate all that I need to in a relatively concise way.

I know that I really want to steer away from a powerpoint display, as although they have their place, in my pilot carrying it out made me quite nervous and i felt that I became too scripted by the need to run through the presentation. I am thinking more along the lines of a document that I can sit down with the audience and go through and discuss, as a key learning over the development of my role has been that one of my strengths is in talking to and engaging people.

This happened at a critical event last week. I had to attend a high level meeting and explain to some high level people what I felt they needed to do and why. Instead of just talking off the cuff or with a powerpoint presentation,I prepared a brief handout (which had started life as my notes to myself to refer to while talking as I needed to make a clear point to the audience),so that they could read and refer back to the key points being made and ask questions as and whenthey wanted to.

I found that this approach not only made me less nervous, but  I also felt part of a discussion which put me at ease, rather than being stood up at the front "presenting" my ideas and worrying that they had kept up with what I was saying and trying to judge if they were keeping up/interested in what I was saying.

I had to have 2 individual meetings with 2 members of the group as a follow up and they both commented that in presenting to them in the way that I had not only had they been clear about what I was explaining, my "commitment, knowledge and confidence had shone through" and impressed them and made them want to work with me as I had outlined as they had faith in my abilities as a result of the meting.

This surprised me as I had been really, really nervous about attending the meeting a it was quite high level and I was basically trying to persuade them to do what I wanted them to do, which historically isn't the way things are done, but when I thought about the positive feedback I realised that I am passionate about what I was presenting to them, and the approach I had taken allowed me the freedom to discuss/explain/ elaborate on the points I was making but without the nerves about presenting at them which comes with a powerpoint.

So I think that that will be a possible exhibition approach that wil enable me to exhibit my learning in a confident manner, generate discussion as well as not be so governed by the logistics of a free large room and a working laptop. I intend to try the exhibition out in a couple of ways; one at my team management meeting presenting it to the whole team while they all have the exhibition document in front of them and another as a one-to-one exhibition with a couple of other key people. I am toying with the idea of emailing the document to a couple of other people and asking them to read through my "exhibtion" and give me their feedback as a third exhibition approach. This would give me useful feedback about the effectiveness of each strategy.

The only drawback is that producing a document is my usual style of work so I need to make sure it is not just an essay. I think with the inclusion of relevant photos graphics, large font etc it wil be more appeaking than reading a word document. I am so focused about the benefit of my research that I am determind to make this final stage work.

Well as usual, I haven't used this space to record my reflections as much as I intended to. It has just been so hectic this term, however looking back, I have used it at key moments, and it has been useful to record those key moments in a way that I can point to for assessment purposes.

I was really over the moon with my mark for the first assignment. I am sure the second assignment won't get such a goood grade, however having one top mark to start the year off should go some way to make my average mark acceptable by the end of the course. The good grade really was a boost as I was feeling quite despondant about my ability to finish the course after the second deadline, but the grade and the really useful feedback has enabled me to focus more on areas that I need to make sure I improve on over the next 3 assignments, as well as reassured me about areas that I have done well in.

I am trying really hard to start getting organised for the 3rd assignment as I don't think I could cope with the same stress that I had the week between the 2 deadlines this term. Part of the problem was my frustration with a couple of the tasks and the order that the activities were in, spread across the 2 assignments, so I am starting to plan what will be the most logical order to to things in for the next assignment in my opinion and get myself organised in a way that suits me. I don't think there was much that I could do about the last 2 assignments as they were so close together, but with a couple of months till the next deadline, I should be able to sort it out into an order that suits me.